Posting for my b-day: I guess at fifty, I’m supposed to be a successful, responsible adult with the big house, the fast car, and maybe even a younger lover on the side–isn’t that the stereotype? Instead I’m a fledgeling author who regularly forgets something “important.” I do share a small house with a younger man,(by six whole months!) who I married over 20 years ago–he was younger back then too. And we currently share a boxy Honda. My station wagon died before me; perhaps a good omen?
Round birthdays lead to square self examinations, except maybe I don’t feel the need just now. I’m kinda satisfied, sorry.
Sure, maybe it would have been nice to know what I know now–at say 25 years of age … Or would it? Mistakes have made my life, tragedies have defined it. I needed to hit the dirt now and then to force me back in line. Otherwise, I start to get cocky and full of myself.
Earlier this week, I got a present from Mother Nature, a brain tumor, benign one. So what am I supposed to do, lay down and get depressed? I refuse. Face it, loads of people have cancer, Leukemia–I pray for my cousin with lupus every day. Sure I prepped for this birthday by working out and losing some weight, but perhaps this “gift” is just one more reminder to stay humble, to look around me. Like most people on a health kick, I had started to pressure my husband and friends–because I love ’em. Still, that’s fricking annoying.
I confess that when I first got the news I spent a day laying around feeling sorry for myself. I stopped writing, felt too much shock to imagine the scenes of my plot. Now thanks to friends locally and online, I’m ready to face this as just one little obstacle. My husband has blessed us with great insurance, my doctor shared a great specialist.
At fifty years of age, I’m still growing up. My second book is in the works, my little, messy house presents fewer complications than a big one, my Honda uses less gas than a Bugatti, and my younger man will not cheat on me, never has, as I will never cheat on him. Not very exciting, but it’s worth a lot. So is knowing the world doesn’t revolve around me, but I have the power to impact it.
I’m looking forward to each new minute, hour, day. Hope you are too.